Danu Morrigan/Tracy Culleton, operator of the website Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, after banning dozens—if not hundreds—of vulnerable women from her site’s forum without explanation, got wind of the fact that not all of these callously rejected women crawled off into dark little holes to lick their wounds. Some of them decided to fight back by publishing their experiences with her on the web, a fact that apparently sent her scrambling to do damage control. Ultimately, she published a rebuttal to the accusations she found on the web, a rebuttal that was laced with subtle and not-so-subtle untruths, and which left no space for disagreement, correction, or comment.
Herewith, the truth about Tracy’s rebuttal to the truths published on the web about her:(My remarks are in violet, Tracy's quotes from another website are in blue)
It has come to my attention that various accusations are being made against me. My first reaction was to ignore them, but on reflection I am going to answer them here, and you can make up your own mind as to the truth of it all. I have no attachment to your end decision – I am not trying to persuade you in any way. I will just answer the accusations.
These accusations are being made at the following blog: http://dealingwithtoxicpeople.blogspot.com/2010/11/clear-present-danger-to-others.html. I’m not making it a clickable link as I don’t want to help it rank in the search engines, but by all means copy and paste the link to go and see for yourself. [This link no longer functions. SoaringDove however, writes about this rebuttal here –V]
SoaringDove’s perception is that she was banned for being a believer, not for posting religious content, and that she and others have been banned for breaking a rule that did not, at least at the time they were members, even exist. “Danu still refuses to update her Code of Conduct to reflect how she truly feels about God and instead chooses to Gaslight members by saying that they broke a rule that doesn't even exist! Danu allows members to use God's name and the name of His Son Jesus in vain, which is attacking someone else's beliefs AND against Danu's own Code of Conduct, yet those posts are not edited -- why not? It is okay to put God & his people down on the DONM forum, but to praise God & his people for the help & blessings in one's life (especially in regards to dealing w/a Narcissistic Mother) in their own post, that will get you banned from Danu's DONM forum.” See the whole post here. -V
They have exposed my real name on this blog post, but I have changed it back to my screen-name. Also the person 'Light' that is referred to is one of the other founder-members of the forum and a moderator.
I will quote her blog post and answer the comments:
DONM members you are in danger. Danu is not who she appears to be. The following information comes from one of the original DONM (Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers) moderators who knows firsthand how evil Danu is to fellow DONM members. I can confirm that Danu's real name is [my real name] I pray more and more former DONM's members will come forward to share what they know.
Obviously this is Soaring Dove's opening position, and she goes on to make her case, so I'll answer the points as she makes them.
Let me add one more very Dangerous Person to this list. She was/is a moderator of Danu's KoN [Kingdom of Narcissism-V] and she admitted to me that she knows that Danu & Light target certain individuals and their Code of Conduct is very deceiving in that people should not be attacked for what they believe.
This is disingenuous at best. Obviously, if someone misinterprets something in it, then it is not “very clear.” SoaringDove saw nothing in the Code of Conduct that would prohibit her or others from mentioning God in context with their stories or comments. This is not the same as proselytizing and, even though I am an atheist, I do not object to other people practicing, even talking about, their faith as long as they keep it in context with their stories or, out of context, among themselves. If Tracy is an atheist and objects to any mention of God or other things religious, in order for her CoC or ToU to be “very clear,” she needs to spell this out in very specific language. I do not know the date SoaringDove was banned, but the ToU were most recently updated in March of 2010 and does allow limited religious content. However—I was banned in February of 2010 for things that were not in the CoC and so was someone else I know, so SoaringDove’s claim is entirely plausible.
I also note the loaded word 'admitted' - Grace may well have held an opinion, but that is not 'admitting' anything in the sense of admitting something shameful or hidden - it is making a statement. It is true that Grace did not agree with my policy on religion on the forum, but that was fine - we (as far as I know) agreed to differ.
Tracy’s response is entirely out of context. SoaringDove wrote: “…and she admitted to me that she knows that Danu & Light target certain individuals…” I would have to say that ‘admitted’ was the proper word this event because targeting certain individuals, singling out specific members for unkind treatment is “shameful” and quite obviously Tracy and Michelle (Light) kept it hidden from all but the admins. If you were the scapegoat child in your NM’s lair, this must have you squirming in your chair—seeing these women, who were looked up to and trusted by the membership, single out specific members for scapegoating.-V
I also need to say that nobody is attacked for what they believe. They are just asked not to share it. This applies to all faiths, not just Christianity.
As recently as 23 April of this year, the following appeared on the web via Twitter: “Beware of Danu Morrigan (Psuedo name) #crooks #creeps #scamalert - She hosts websites for abused people... and is persecuting Christians.” Obviously the perception persists to this day.-V
She told me she knows Danu has attacked other DONM members before I became a member and she resigned her position as Moderator (I now question whether or not that was the truth).
Again I doubt very much that Grace said I had attacked other DONM members, but even if she did, it is not true. Grace did resign as moderator, in fully amicable conditions, and…
Unfortunately, we have only Tracy’s word for Grace leaving the site amicably…and I note that she has no compunctions against calling Grace a liar: “…even if she did [say Tracy attacked members], it is not true…”. Since Tracy has blatantly lied to the membership about why I and the psychologist left the forum, since SoaringDove’s perception of her banning does not match Tracy’s, at this point I am not prepared to accept Tracy’s unsupported word…and neither should you. I know at least one moderator who asked to leave due to becoming aware of the site being a scam (more on that later) who, instead of being simply removed from her post, was also banned. And it was a great shock to her. -V
Soaring Dove has absolutely no reason to doubt this, so I don't know why she says it.
She then goes on to accuse Grace of stuff which a) is not true and b) I won't share here because it's not my place.
Whoa there! SoaringDove thinks she has good reason to doubt this—doesn’t this seem a little high handed here, substituting her perceptions for and discounting someone else’s? I smell gas here…as in gaslighting. She says it because she believes it and because she likely has heard of other people who got railroaded out of the forum under false pretenses. -V
Along with Light this person [Grace] promotes Danu as a "Healer" when they both know she is an abuser of her own members.
Neither Light nor Grace promote me as a 'Healer' or ever have. Even *I* don't promote me as a healer, with or without a capital 'H' or quotes. I am an EFT practitioner and do promote myself as such - again, more below of this.
Scroll to the bottom of this page to find the Organized Wisdom Health Site Award that Tracy, who emphatically claims not to be a healer, displays on this page. Interestingly, you won’t find it on any other pages—can you guess why? Because a bunch of people wrote to the Organized Wisdom site with their stories of abuse at Tracy’s hands—now she not only no longer displays the award on her site (but somehow it got left behind on this page), she is no longer listed on the Organized Wisdom site as a recipient.-V
And certainly Light knows that I do not abuse my members, and I do not think that Grace holds this opinion.
I would agree that Light “knows” this because, like the Ns I have had to deal with in my own life, their definition of “abuse” and mine are light-years apart…I was one of those abused by them, so I can state that as an unequivocal fact. But isn’t that a typically N tactic, though, to change the definition of something to fit what they are doing? My NM used to “spank” me daily—in retrospect, what she called a “spanking” was, in fact, a brutal beating with a thin leather strap that left whip-like marks on my skin. She—and a few like-minded friends—would never have called it a beating, but I certainly would. So, by changing the meaning of spanking to include beating me with what was essentially was a whip she could “honestly” say she did not beat me—and if Light and Tracy are on the same page regarding the definition of abuse—that it does not include suddenly and without warning or explanation, expelling people from the forum—then they can agree that nobody is being abused, at least by their definition.-V
Grace tried to help Soaring Dove at the time she was banned from the forum, and knowing Grace (we have met in real life; I have even stayed in her house) I can assure you that this was done with integrity, compassion and a genuine desire to help. But Soaring Dove has twisted this around into a rant on her blog about Grace and Grace's so-called agenda. I won't share that here as it does not pertain directly to myself, but I can assure you all that Soaring Dove's interpretation is not true.
Oh, nasty nasty!! Casting aspersions on SoaringDove with loaded words like “twisted” and “rant” and “so-called” and then refusing to provide a link so you can’t see for yourself if is was a twisted rant, using the excuse “it doesn’t pertain directly to myself.” Gee, it was germane enough to bring up to assassinate SoaringDove’s character and make her out to be a demented whiner, eh?-V
Next up--Part 2