Danu Morrigan/Tracy Culleton, operator of the website Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, after banning dozens—if not hundreds—of vulnerable women from her site’s forum without explanation, got wind of the fact that not all of these callously rejected women crawled off into dark little holes to lick their wounds. some of them decided to fight back by publishing their experiences with her on the web, a fact that apparently sent her scrambling to do damage control. Ultimately, she published a rebuttal to the accusations she found on the web, a rebuttal that was laced with subtle and not-so-subtle untruths, and which left no space for disagreement, correction, or comment.
Herewith, the truth about Tracy’s rebuttal to the truths published on the web about her:
(My remarks are in violet, Tracy's quotes from SoaringDove’s blog are in blue)
The last time I checked, Danu Morrigan, (wasn't that a red flag that she wouldn't even disclose her real name?) has at least 13 websites, all coming from a different angle, but with the same motivation. Making money. On her business marketing site she refers to potential customers as *food*, to be trapped, hunted, or farmed
I do have a number of websites, yes, although I'm not sure it's as many as 13. It could be I guess. And yes, all the others are business websites with the aim of making money. It's called capitalism.
What nobody says here is that Danu and Morrigan are both goddesses, Danu being the Celtic mother-goddess. Grandiose, anyone? And, interestingly, Tracy doesn’t address the issue of her failure to use her own name. She does address the insignificant issue of how many websites she has (I could only find ten, but it doesn’t mean there aren’t more out there), but sidesteps the very salient issue of her hiding her real name. She claims on the site that it is to keep her family ignorant of her site and activities (plausible to DoNMs because we don’t want our narcissistic mothers to know what we are doing lest they find a way to spoil it for us) but it was relatively easy to find out and now, at this point in time, it is dead simple: a quick Google search will turn it up. Considering what the name means and considering that since her real name has been public knowledge for at least two years now, one must wonder why she continues to cling to the pseudonym, even to the point of publishing a book using it. Can she, after all the disclosure to date, still privately think of herself as a Celtic mother goddess?
To be honest, I wouldn’t be surprised. My research has turned up evidence that she is a self-proclaimed expert on vegetarianism, breast feeding, home schooling, and eco-building, among other things. Very Mother Earthy stuff. As I said earlier…grandiose, anyone?
As for the metaphor of customers as food to be trapped, hunted or farmed - this is a metaphor originating with marketing expert Dan Kennedy, and shows the difference between a sustained ‘farming’ model of agriculture where you keep in touch with existing customers and look after them on the one hand, and a ‘hunting’ model of marketing where you are desperately looking for new customers all the time.
It was a metaphor. I’d never have used it if I’d known it was going to be twisted like this. And I can only say that I do not view the members of my DONM forum as food or prey or anything like that.
Of course it is a metaphor, you silly twit! Do you think we are so stupid as to think you actually farm and hunt customers? It has not been twisted at all. The fact of the matter is that this choice of metaphor is demeaning, degrading and dehumanizing and you don’t seem to even see that!
Relationship marketing, at its simplest, works by:
- Taking names, addresses and e-mail addresses of customers
- Keeping in touch with them - e.g. newsletters (and lots of other ideas too)
- Offering them special offers and discounts
I can help you organise and arrange this relationship marketing. It would be like hiring your own personal farmer to do all the sowing seeds etc - you just enjoy the harvest.”
Think about this for a minute—isn’t this strategy just exactly what she applied to the DoNM website forum? “Planting the seeds” of EFT as a cure-all, “weeding” by eliminating people who she does not think are susceptible to her blandishments, “watering and fertilising” by dropping in once day and selecting a few posts to give personal attention to… She not only farmed us using this technique, she milked our histories and our experiences and our pain for gain, not just on the website, but in her upcoming book as well.
And what difference does it make if she didn’t invent the concept? She used it, never expecting that anyone at the DoNM website would ever find out, ever catch on. She used a different name on the DoNM site and if people Googled her, they would never connect her with her real name, her other activities, or this. In fact, I doubt it ever occurred to her that people might be offended to be referred to as food to be farmed…I doubt she has the empathy.
Again, you'll make up your own minds about that, as you should.
As for not using my real name, I explain on my website about that - I would prefer that my family not find out about this. I wasn't keeping my identity that much of a secret or Kate and others wouldn't know it.
Oh, that’s just hogwash. Two years ago I had to track it down using multiple websites and deductive reasoning, starting with Whois. Today her real name is easy to find because she’s been outed by people like me, but two years or further back, it took a bit of digging. I suspect her reason for not using her real name was to keep the women joining the DoNM site from finding out who she really was so they would not be able to connect her to her other lucrative sites and scams. She had to create a sympathetic persona, someone they could relate to, someone soft and non-threatening they could rely on. And isn’t this exactly how a narcissist operates? Which brings us to Kate’s next point…
I am not a mental health expert, but I would peg Danu and Light as textbook Ns
You'll need to make up your own minds about this too.
Danu's EFT credentials aren't that great either. The last I checked she had the equivalent of several weekend seminars of instruction.
I have done a lot more than that; I have been undergoing continuous training and learning for the past seven years. But it’s true that I did not attend a year-long or two-year long course. Those things don't exist. Just as the first people in any evolving model aren't officially trained or certified by some central body, neither are EFT people.
Again: there is nothing available on the web, even from websites that publish articles that have appeared in peer-reviewed journals, that indicate any independent studies have been done on EFT and confirmed its efficacy. Additionally, at around the time Tracy wrote this apologia, I had done some research on her and among the things I investigated were her educational credentials: she was only a Level II “practitioner,” (basically still a beginner) even though to read her self-promotion you would think she was a master.
I thought about posting this anonymously, but I can't make that work, so let the chips fall where they may. I would be glad to talk with you via email. Let me know if that is something you would be interested in. There is a growing community of women who have all had similar experiences and I'm sure they would be more than welcoming to you if you'd like to process this [the shock of being unexpectedly banned –V] with others who have been there.
It’s true that I have made a lot of enemies doing this. Whether that’s because I’m N and have hurt a lot of innocent people as Kate and Soaring Dove claim, or whether it’s because I’m an ordinary DONM who has banned a lot of trouble-makers, trolls, and Ns in my turn, I leave it to you to decide.
Please notice that it is Tracy who creates the negative paradigm by referring to the women she banned as “enemies” while Kate talks about welcoming women and processing the experience of being banned with sympathetic fellow-sufferers. Tracy creates herself the poor misunderstood, misperceived victim who was just doing things to help…and those of us whom she banned without warning or explanation are “enemies.” Neat little piece of twisting history and reality into a reasonably subtle gaslighting episode, eh?
Did you notice that Tracy did not even acknowledge Kate’s mention of a “growing community of women” who have experienced the same? Tracy is aware of the group for which I serve as an administrator and rather than acknowledge and bring attention to the fact that there is such a group, she just ignores it. How do I know that she knows? Because, according to private sources (anything you can read on the internet she can read as well and this is one area where I must protect my sources), she now discourages women on the site from using social media or joining outside groups. Do you know that this isolation technique is a red flag for abusive behaviour? An absolutely fundamental tactic of the abuser is to isolate the victim(s) to eliminate outside support and make the victim(s) emotionally dependent on the abuser. This way the abuser becomes essential to the victim’s emotional life and later, when the real abuse starts, the victim has no place to go. Tracy, combines the “farming” techniques noted earlier with classic abuser tactics—isolation, tightly proscribed behavioural ground rules, gaslighting, threats of (and actual) banishment all to control the members of her forum.
I do not wish to escalate this or get involved in the drama or such. I am just answering the accusations. I do not expect anybody to comment in my favour on Soaring Dove's blog - that would just escalate the whole thing.
Mercy me, heaven forbid people go to SoaringDove’s blog and, with their hits, boost its rating on Google. And let’s not even consider the possibility of the comments on that blog post, comments that support it and reveal even more victims. Nope, can’t have that…don’t go, don’t write, just let it die right there so she can get back to the business of binding you to her so she can pick your pockets and feed just a little bit more…
I have spoken my truth now and people can make up their own minds. I have no attachment to what they decide.
And if you believe that, I have some nice real estate on the moon for you, with a terrific view of the Big Blue Marble… Of course she has an attachment. If she didn’t, why bother to write this long paean to herself and her purity of intent and action? Throw a monkey wrench into her forum and lure the members away, like she did to Dr. McBride, and see how much attachment she has to their decisions. But, I didn’t expect much truth from her in the first place. Did you?
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